Interview with Ralph Yourie

Author of Dear Caroline…

Where are you from originally and where do you reside now?

Born in Bayonne, N.J. Currently reside in Palm Coast, Florida.

If you currently reside somewhere besides where you were born, what’s the story that lead from there to here?

I was born in 1959 in Bayonne, N.J., but spent most of an unhappy childhood in the Jersey Shore town of West Long Branch. At the age of 17, while still in high school, I enlisted in the U.S. Navy, as a means of escape. I took active duty shortly after graduation. While in the navy, I served as a Machinery Repairman aboard two ships; the USS Shenandoah, based in Norfolk, VA and the USS Fulton, based in New London, CT. Upon completing my enlistment I enrolled at the University of Connecticut, completing a bachelor’s degree in Labor Relations and graduating in May 1985. It was also at that school that met my wife, Diane. We were married in August 1985. Together we lived in the towns of Willington and Coventry, before settling down in Ellington, where we resided from 1989-2017. Along the way, we had two daughters, Emily and Allison. After college, I went to work as a store manager for Walgreens Drug Stores, where I have been employed since 1985, while Diane worked as a pharmacist at several Connecticut hospitals. In 2017, we sold our home in Ellington to our daughter Emily and moved to our current residence in Palm Coast, Florida. Diane has since retired, while I run a Walgreens store in Daytona Beach.

What made you decide to write and publish your first book?

I have always been a writer, and have always known that I was a very good writer, but never knew if I was good enough to go public. Then, around 2006, I began writing a weekly, intracompany column, (today we would call it a blog), about work-life issues. The column was very well received and eventually found its way to the corporate offices. One day I received a phone call from Jeffrey Rein, whom at that time was President and CEO of Walgreens. He said he loved the column and wanted to use it from time to time in some company-wide correspondences. A few years later he called again, suggesting that I compile the best of my articles and turn them into a book. In April 2012, my first book, A Sneaker on my Pillow: Lessons for business. Lessons for life, was published by Friesen Press.

How would you describe your books to first time readers?

My first book, A Sneaker on my Pillow, reminds readers that the lessons we learn in our personal lives are interchangeable with the lessons we learn at work. Things like time management, prioritizing and communications skills are vital in the workplace, but are no less important at home. In a similar manner, community, charity, compassion and loyalty, while mainstays in our personal relationships, are equally valuable in the workplace.

My second book and first novel, Dear Caroline…, is about imperfect people in imperfect relationships. It reminds us that it is okay to make mistakes, but it is not okay to ignore them. We cannot conquer our demons until we acknowledge them.

Who do you feel is most likely to connect with the topics you write about?

I don’t think my target audience has a specific age group or gender. My writings are most likely to connect with self-aware and introspective people who think too much.

What unexpected or surprising thing did you learn during the process of writing and publishing?

By writing fiction, it is easier to be unashamedly honest. Fiction allows to express our own reality without the burden of ownership. I do this a lot in Dear Caroline… The book’s lead character deals with anger, guilt and fear over a variety of subjects, including domestic violence, relationship issues and substance abuse. These concerns have, at times, been my reality. As fiction, I can acknowledge and discuss them without having to confess my own personal sins. Dear Caroline… began as non-fiction, but carries much greater weight and depth as a novel.

If you could, what advice would you give to your past self before embarking on this journey?

Writing is the easy part. If you are a writer, it’s what you do. Publishing and marketing is far more difficult. Learn everything you can about the business of books. Filter that information with a great deal of mistrust. Then proceed with great caution. Independent publishers are everywhere, but very few will be able to balance your needs with your budget. Choose the one who most closely fulfills your needs.

How many people would you ideally like to reach with your books?

Any author who says they do not care how many books they sell, is lying. Every author wants their books to be international best sellers. The reality is that without a lot of time, a sizable budget and an unreasonable amount of luck, that is not likely to happen. Realistically, the best any of us can do is to continue to move forward. The process may be slow, but at any forward movement is good.

What has been the biggest challenge and frustration during the process to date?

My biggest challenge and frustration, not just in writing or publishing, but in life in general is self-doubt. I constantly second-guess myself. I am never sure if I am doing the right thing. That doubt can be stifling, both in the creative and the constructive process.

What’s your biggest strengths when it comes to book a) writing, b) publishing and c) marketing?

I have two strengths as a writer. The first is that my style is very easy to read. I work from the premise that if it sounds good when read aloud, it probably is good. This approach has served me well. Second, I have learned, long ago, not to fall in love with my own work. I trust the criticism of others. I use a few impartial readers to give me the honest feedback that any writer so desperately needs. As for publishing, my strength lies in conformity. Once I have developed a level of trust with a publisher, I am likely to follow their leads. They are the experts. However, for me to trust a publisher, I must first be convinced that my concerns are their concerns. Too many independent publishers thrive on selling you products. My book or manuscript is the only product that should matter. If it sells, then we both do well. As for marketing, I am a decent public speaker. When given the opportunity to talk about my work, I generally come across in a sincere and entertaining manner.

What’s your biggest weakness when it comes to book a) writing, b) publishing and c) marketing?

Time and inspiration are always a problem. I have a family. I work full-time. I need a certain amount of leisure. Successful writing, publishing and marketing requires time, motivation and inspiration. It is easy to stall. It is easy to let fatigue stop you from moving forward. It is easy to make excuses.

When do you think you will write your next book?

I don’t have a timeline, but I have started another novel. This time I am taking a stab at writing a comedy. Tentatively titled “The Purple Mango Affair” it is about a Princeton prodigy who burns out under the weight of corporate demands. He decides to become a beach-bum bartender in Key West, until his old world comes back to haunt him. I’m only a few chapters in, so we will have to see how it progresses. It has also been suggested that I write a sequel to Dear Caroline… That is a very real possibility. I have two different ideas for plots.

Are you self published or did you use a hybrid publisher, or a traditional publisher?

I’m not sure I know the difference between self-published and a hybrid. I chose Outskirts Press for Dear Caroline… because they put together a complete package that most closely met my needs. They also got the highest rating among independent publishers last year. Thus far I have been quite satisfied. I used that same criteria when I chose Friesen Press for my first book, although I probably would not use Friesen again.