Interview with Tak Ananda

Author of Talk Together: Walking the Journey with our Adolescent

Where are you from originally and where do you reside now?

I was born in Hong Kong, moved to New Zealand at the age of 6.5 and migrated to Australia in my early adult years

If you currently reside somewhere besides where you were born, what’s the story that lead from there to here?

I was abandoned soon after I was born, taken up by the Salvation Army and given to missionaries who brought me up in an orphanage.

Although the police were notified at the time of my abandonment, with no hospital records and no birth certificate, it was hard to trace where my parents were.

I was nourished, brought back to health and looked after by English missionaries in the Shatin orphanage. There were approx. 72 kids, girls making up the majority of orphangees.

Whereas the boys were abandoned mostly because of some physical health problems, we girls were abandoned because we were, simply females.

Our core being of who we were, and who we still are, was rejected from the very beginning of our existence. The world that we were born into had no place for a female child.

I was nearly 7 when I was adopted into a Christian, Anglo Saxon middle class family. Here, we were expected to assimilate into my family’s culture, lifestyle and language. We were expected to enter into their world.
My first assimilation process occurred even before I had arrived on the soils of NZ. To accommodate my family and the people of NZ, Most of us had our names changed. My name was changed to an Anglo Saxon name. But by changing my name, how would this affect my sense of identity.

I forfeited parts of my past conditioning to accommodate the new world that I was entering into. And although this inner conflict created ambivalence because, part of me wanted to hang on to my cultural Chinese influences, a stronger part of me desired to be accepted into this family and to the NZ way of life. Hence, I discarded my culture, my past and with it, I left a piece of me behind.

Our past shapes our sense of identity. The messages that we receive in our childhood have a huge impact on, `who we believe we are’. These messages can take away the very core of, `who we truly are!’

Yet, the purpose of our life is to discover our true inner self. My journey through my adult years has been just that; to find a sense of joy and harmony, my purpose in life and to discover, `who I truly am’.

As a child and family therapist, I now work with families helping young people through their own journey in life.

What made you decide to write and publish your first book?

When I was young my adopted mother told me that I had 3 choices in life: To be a wife and mother, a secretary, Or a nurse

I chose all 3, and yet I was left feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

I was led to believe that a woman did not have any choices in life. The decision therefore had been made for me.
From an early age, my autonomy and independence had been taken away from me.

The message I received from society and culture, and from my past life history took away the very core of `who I was, what I wanted to be and what my life’s purpose was.’

Our past shapes, `who we are today’.

As a child and family therapist, I wanted to help young people through these often turbulent years whereby their life’s future begins to unfold for them.

It was evident that the messages we send out to our young people have a huge impact on themselves and, their future. I therefore embarked in writing a book for parents to help them guide their young person through these difficult years.

How would you describe your books to first time readers?

This book is to help parents meet the many different challenges that our young person faces in their adolescent years. These challenges include: low self-worth, teenage defiance, peer group pressure, family discord and disconnection, poor self-image, teenager anger, teenage depression and anxiety, sibling rivalry, cyber bulling, drugs and alcohol, and psychological vulnerabilities.

In this book, the author is interested in how people relate and the messages expressed, often below one’s level of awareness. The author employs the concept of influence rather than control, purposeful direction rather than restriction and understanding rather than inner discord.

A different dialogue is cultivated that promotes meaningful connections, family harmony, healthy boundaries and individuality and autonomy. As parents reflect in the change of dialogue, what transpires is a more meaningful and purposeful direction. Self-fulfillment arises from the presence of awareness. As self-transformation begins to take place there is a movement towards being real, being authentic and being true to their inner self.
www.talktogether.net.au

Who do you feel is most likely to connect with the topics you write about?

Parents, adolescents, young people and the general population

What unexpected or surprising thing did you learn during the process of writing and publishing?

I began to realize I had a passion for writing. Ideas began to flow through me. I was energized and felt inspired.

If you could, what advice would you give to past self yourself before embarking on this journey?

Do your homework and research the best publishers.

How many people would you ideally like to reach with your books?

Worldwide

What has been the biggest challenge and frustration during the process to date?

Finding the right publisher

What’s your biggest strengths when it comes to book a) writing, b) publishing and c) marketing?

Writing