Interview with Christa Brown

Author of This Little Light

Where are you from originally and where do you reside now?

I grew up mostly in Farmers Branch, Texas, which is a suburb of Dallas. Now I live in Colorado, in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains.

If you currently reside somewhere besides where you were born, what’s the story that lead from there to here?

After going to college in North Texas, and working for a while as a high school teacher, I moved to Austin, much against my mother’s wishes. Austin was the cool place to be even back then. After grad school and then law school, I built a career as an appellate attorney, working for the Texas Supreme Court and then in private practice. I met my husband at a place called “Mad Dog & Beans,” and we raised our daughter there in Austin. In the summers we often swam at Barton Springs. But when retirement came around, even the cool waters of the Springs couldn’t hold us there in the heat, and so we decided to move north. No regrets. I’m out hiking in the mountains every chance I get.

What made you decide to write and publish your first book?

It was an act of conscience and an act of protest against institutional evil.

By the time I started writing, I knew that my story went well beyond the personal because I had heard from so many others with similar stories — stories of Baptist clergy sex abuse and church cover-ups. So I knew that the problem was about way more than a few bad apples; it was about how the barrel itself enabled the rot. And I wanted to show the systemic patterns at work.

This was long before the momentum of #MeToo and #ChurchToo, and it was a time when almost everyone seemed to think that clergy sex abuse was solely a thing with Catholics. So I was trying to find a way to confront the institutional inertia of the Southern Baptist Convention in failing to protect kids against clergy predators. I also hoped that, by openly sharing my story, I could help others to reclaim their own memories with an understanding that the shame does not belong to them.

How would you describe your books to first time readers?

My book is a combination memoir and exposé. It not only tells of my own journey from clergy sex abuse victim to tenacious advocate, but it also documents the history of early activist efforts to prod the country’s largest Protestant denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention, to implement safeguards against church-hopping preacher-predators, and of denominational leaders’ do-nothingness.

Who do you feel is most likely to connect with the topics you write about?

Anyone who cares about protecting children from sexual predators. Anyone who is concerned about the safety of churches. Anyone who is interested in the dynamics of institutional cover-ups. And the people to whom I dedicated the book: clergy sex abuse survivors.

What unexpected or surprising thing did you learn during the process of writing and publishing?

1) That I had underestimated the human capacity to use religion as a rationalization for meanness. I was unprepared for the volume of hate-mail I received.
2) That I had underestimated the continuing impact my book might have. I thought the book would have a short flash of interest, but instead, it’s been a long steady burn, and now, in the wake of the #ChurchToo movement, there’s even greater interest.

If you could, what advice would you give to your past self before embarking on this journey?

Pace yourself and take care of yourself. Don’t waste energy on people who use religious rationalizations to defend the indefensible. Leave toxic people behind, and do it sooner rather than later. Spend more time in the woods and mountains.

How many people would you ideally like to reach with your books?

The Southern Baptist Convention has about 15 million people in its affiliated churches. I would like to reach enough of those 15 million people that they would rise up and demand change and accountability within their faith group.

Alternatively, I’d like to reach every single Baptist clergy sex abuse survivor who has ever imagined that no one would believe all the awfulness and craziness of what was done to them. Just today, a survivor’s mom wrote to me saying that my book had “just made sense of our crazy.” I hope I can reach every person who has experienced that kind of “crazy” and is feeling alone in it.

What has been the biggest challenge and frustration during the process to date?

The biggest challenge has been trying to respond to all the clergy abuse survivors who contact me. Sometimes, I’m just too overwhelmed.

The biggest frustration has been the volume of hate-mail and online vitriol I’ve received from people who want to tell me that I’m going to burn in hell… and worse. It was sometimes hard to not let it get to me.

What’s your biggest strengths when it comes to book a) writing, b) publishing and c) marketing?

Biggest strength: writing. Organizing my thoughts, condensing lots of facts into a narrative, putting words to paper: these are things that come fairly naturally.

What’s your biggest weakness when it comes to book a) writing, b) publishing and c) marketing?

Biggest weakness: marketing. I’ve pretty much just stumbled along as best I could.

When do you think you will write your next book?

I’m in the process of writing my next book right now. It’s both a prequel and sequel to “This Little Light,” and it’s about two-thirds done.

Are you self published or did you use a hybrid publisher, or a traditional publisher?

I used a hybrid publisher.