Communicating Better through Love Languages

Ensure compatibility and long-term relationship stability through learning about the different love languages.

Compatibility is an essential factor to make lasting relationships. Love without compatibility is hard. However, love is a mysterious force that can move mountains, sail thousands of ships, and conquer all odds. It is love that can make people work their way towards compatibility. Compatibility almost always translates to better communication with the ones you love. Being compatible with each other means being able to smoothly channel love towards each other.

In contemporary dating, there is something experts call as love languages. Love languages are the different ways a person show and appreciate love. Gary Chapman, author of bestselling book, The Five Love Languages, does an amazing breakdown of these languages.

Just like most of us, I have also encountered awful relationships. Reading Chapman’s book actually enlightened me of why most of my previous relationships did not work out—we don’t speak the same love language and none of us tried to learn each other’s language. I have come to the realization that getting to know your partner’s love language is an ingredient to compatibility. That compatibility is not up to fate, but is up to you. If you really love the person, compatibility should be something you work for, not wait on.

If you’re hoping to take your current relationship to the next level and want to guarantee that it’s a love that will last, I suggest reading Chapman’s book.

To give you a preview, here is a list of the different languages of love.

Words of Affirmation

• People who are verbal about their feelings often respond most to this type of love language. These are the people who need to be affirmed of their loved ones’ affection as frequently as possible. They feel that there is no better way to express love than actually saying it to the other person.

Physical Touch

• The sense of touch is a strong determinant for liking. Before we had language and understanding, love was defined by touch and warmth. In relationships, people who have physical touch as a primary love language want their loved one to display their affection by hugging, holding hands, kissing, or being in close proximity.

Receiving Gifts

• Gift giving is a common practice by itself. We have traditions that encourage us to give gifts to those we love, just like Christmas. It is traditionally deemed to be a way of showing love, and so there are people who have this as a primary love language. These people who want regular gifts from their loved ones are not necessarily materialistic. They are appreciative of the way they are being remembered—through gifts.

Acts of Service           

• People who use this love language believe in the old saying, “actions speak louder than words.” There is nothing truer to them than seeing their loved one show how much they love them. They acknowledge the littlest acts by their loved ones.

Quality Time

• People who have this as their primary love language need their loved one’s complete and undivided attention. They are the people who need nothing else but their loved one spending time with them and shutting everything else out.

Each person can have one to three primary love languages. Understanding about the different love languages can help fix your problems as couples, in terms of intimacy, and keep your bond tied in love. And from that love, a beautiful love story can spring forth—a romantic story that must be told to all. It can be a love story that will not only speak in five languages, but in thousands.

Contributor: Amy Everhart

Amy Everhart is a marriage counselor, a relationship communication specialist, and an author, who aims to help couples improve their relationship. She strongly believes in the power of communication and its effect to our daily interactions, especially with our partners. Her books include, Valentine’s Day: Thoughtful Doesn’t Mean Expensive, and He’s The One: Find Him, Get Noticed, and Make Him Yours.